Monday, 28 May 2012

Callum's birth story...

I really need to get this down in writing so I dont forget one tiny, amazing moment of it...

My waters broke at 4.30am on 27th April, the pop actually woke me and I literally levitated out of the bed immediately and miraculously never got a drop on the bed! lol
I had had some strange baby movements that night and a strange water swishing sound coming from my bump when lying on one side, I couldnt sleep well either so wasnt in a deep sleep when they broke. We got really excited and sat chatting while I rocked on my birth ball for an hour or so, I had only a few tightenings in that time so decided it would be best to rest now before labour properly started. I woke about 6.30am with a strong contraction, another about 5 mins later. Lying on my side helped so I lay there until 7.30am when they were getting a bit more intense so went to call the midwives and steves sister sandra. The midwife and sandra both arrived about 8.30am, contractions were still 5 mins apart but I was feeling a bit anxious with the kids leaving for school, the pool being set up, midwife checks and answering questions - this slowed them a bit and I felt like a rabbit in headlights. I just wanted to escape to my bedroom and get into my own little bubble. By 10am the contractions were much less intense so I sent the midwife away until they were back on track. I went upstairs on my own, did some hypnobirthing breathing and visualisations and got back in the zone, I even managed to sleep for a few hours.
By 2.30pm they were back to 5 mins and quite intense, I paced around the house, the kids came home, Ben and Fraser both wanted to go to Uncle paul's but Jamie was adamant he was staying and helping mummy get the baby out <3 

By 4.30pm I felt ready to go in the pool, the midwife popped in about 5pm to check baby and was planning on leaving and waiting for a phone call but once she saw me she decided baby was imminent and she would stay. The contractions became really intense once I got into the water, the kids had left and I was able to relax and let things happen. Jamie was still by my side though :)
I laboured in the water using hypnobirthing and listening to music to help me relax. at about 6.45pm my mp4 player stopped working and hypnobirthing was more difficult to maintain after that. The contractions were really intense and on top of each other at this stage, I felt a lot of pressure and the second midwife and midwifery student I had agreed could be present, were called. Jamie was by my side throughout, holding my hand, telling me how well I was doing and reminding me to breathe :)

At 7.50pm I was pushing. I felt his head descend a bit and then after each contraction it would pop back up to its high position again. It was so frustrating and tiring and I felt he wasnt in a great position. After 40 minutes of pushing I knew his head wasnt in the best position but he was almost there so I pushed like I have never pushed before, I reached down and felt his head crown and then emerge into my hands, I turned onto my back and his body slid out into daddy's waiting arms, the midwife helped unwrap the cord from his neck, I heard Jamie let out a little squeal of astonishment and excitement as he emerged from the water and Steve placed him on my chest and checked for a willy lol

I am sure you all know that rush when your baby is born, the first moment you look into their little face and you are flooded with all the love in the universe for this tiny person. Words cannot describe that awesome, amazing feeling. I held him close, closed my eyes and breathed in every bit of that moment. I replay it in my head every day...

Jamie held the cord until it stopped pulsating, we lay there in the water with daddy and jamie touching baby, the room was quiet and calm, everyone sat back and let us bond and enjoy our first meeting.
Ben and Fraser came home to meet their brother whilst the midwives helped steve clean up. Fraser jumped up next to me on the couch and I breastfed him and his new brother whilst sandra made me toast and tea. The midwives checked Callum over while jamie got his toy hulk checked at the same time :) everyone eventually went home, kids went to bed and steve tucked Callum and I into bed skin to skin <3 blissfully perfect :)

Homebirthing was the best thing i have ever done, I have had 3 wonderful waterbirths in hospital, but having my baby at home with my little boy holding my hand, tandem feeding my boys on the couch after birth and snuggling into my own bed with my baby was just the best feeling ever. I am so proud of myself, our bodies are awesome, we should trust them more! :)

We have another little boy to add to our collection...

Baby Callum Paul welch arrived at home on 27th April 2012. We are so unbelievably in love with him :)

I deliberately never wrote on here much during pregnancy. For the main reason that, I was in a lot of pain with SPD and didnt feel too great and I didnt want to be the pregnant woman who moans constantly. I also wanted to keep this blog a positive, happy place that I can look back on and smile as the years go by and our boys grow.
Despite having a difficult pregnancy towards the end, I did love having a bump and nurturing a new little life and really tried to soak up everything about that wonderful time that only comes around a few times in life, when your truly doing gods work. every little kick is embedded in my memory and I still look at my boys and cant believe we made them :)

Thursday, 8 March 2012

lesson learnt from little people :)

A few things have inspired this blog post - my blog isnt massively active so I do need a bit of inspiration to write. I often just write down things I want to remember, lessons I dont want to forget when life gets in the way. This is one of those things...
Today I read this blog - I am sure it will ring true with so many parents. Its easy to forget whats important when you have so much responsibilty. As I was reading it, a conversation with my sister in law echoed in my ears. Her boys are 16 and 13. she was feeling sad because they were becoming so independent. They are staying over at friends at the weekend, they go out after school, her oldest is going to parties and although she was sad, she was accepting and trusting. They have an amazing bond and a great relationship. I remember when they were little, the age my boys are just now probably. It doesnt seem that long ago, and here they are - young men! It scared me a bit. We dont realise how quickly this time passes. we take for granted that our children will always want to play - what about when they are not children anymore?

Yesterday I had a huge laundry pile to do, socks to pair, dishes overtaking my kitchen and floors to clean - instead, we made a tent in the living room and played in it for ages :)
I asked my husband if he always read our boys a story at night when he did bed time, he said no. He would most times but not all the time. I gently reminded him that soon our boys wont want a story for bedtime! Soon our boys will be grown and we will miss story times. We used to speak excitedly about all the things we would do with our children, before our first baby was born we bought story books and read them to bump, we couldnt wait until he could ask us for a story and enjoy it with us, or until we could sit while he read his books to us. We are living that moment that we once dreamed about and we are letting it pass us by! We now read stories every night - even if bedtime is late or we have lots to do. we read each of our 3 boys a story and we spend time with each of them before they go to sleep. Soon they will be teenagers and young men, we will be sitting waiting on them coming in or asking them to put the lights off when they finally come up to bed. I am glad we are realising this now!

PS - 33 weeks pregnant this week and prepared for a baby coming - another little leg to our journey :)

Thursday, 23 February 2012

snuggly snuggles are the best :)

I have been having some trouble sleeping recently. 31 weeks pregnant, SPD getting worse, feeling like an elephant, you know, the usual :)
Last night Fraser staggered through to our bedroom, all sleepy and rubbing his eyes. He climbed into bed with us and snuggled in. ARGH! its hard enough to sleep with a bump never mind a toddler too!! Steve and I both tried to move him but everytime we did he let out a little moan and cuddled in tighter so we settled into bed expecting a sleepless night. He was too cute to argue with :)
Surprisingly, I had the best nights sleep I have had in ages! The snuggles did it :) I forgot how nice co sleeping was. I didnt realise how much I had missed those little snuggles and sighs. He does love his own bed and is sleeping soundly in his own room tonight but it was nice to have a cuddly co sleeping night again and be reminded that he is still my baby after all. He is so independent now, its easy to forget how little he still is.
I have had more energy today becasue of better sleep so made banana bread and lemon drizzle loaf with the boys and jamie helped me do the shopping. He was happy to keep the £1 trolley coin for his super helpfulness, he is saving it for a spiderman toy :)

Monday, 9 January 2012

little things.

We returned from a weekend visiting my family in Glasgow yesterday, all absolutely exhausted and in need of an early night... all 3 boys grumpy and unsettled, up every hour or so and mummy and daddy both grumpy. not a mix for a nice sunday night in...
Sitting in the darkness in Fraser's room, in the nursing chair with him latched on for the twentieth time that night, in an attempt to get him to sleep. I was sitting, hoping the next time I looked down he would be sleeping and I could go to sleep too. Then the baby woke up, Fraser was lying across my tummy and the baby started kicking hard, I moved fraser across in case he was squishing squishy but he/she kept kicking and nudging :) It was as if he/she was playing with his/her brother from the womb. I started day dreaming about how they would play together and watching them bond. Picturing Frasers reaction when we introduced him to the new baby and watching him teach it how to play and run after him... after a while I looked down, fraser was fast asleep with his hand on my tummy and the baby still nudging it <3 ahhh the bliss of little bits of life you forget to appreciate in the middle of a tired, sleepless night. :)

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

silly me....

It was my 27th birthday today, after a mental festive season at home with 3 hyper, excited, unsettled boys and a quieter new year, I was looking forward to doing something different. I had in my head, a plan to visit local tea rooms for tea and cream scones, search through charity shops for forgotten trasures and have a browse around some little boutique shops with amazing quirky things I wish I could afford... I awoke to a lovely cup of tea in bed, a kicking baby in my tummy, a very grumpy toddler who just wanted milkies! a handmade card from my bigger boys <3 and of course being spoilt (by my wonderful husband) with a new laptop for my present :)
 I also awoke to a storm. All friends I was meant to see, had to cancel and stay in doors and my plans had to be halted. I was upset, the boys were stir crazy and it seemed for the 3rd year in a row, my birthay plans would be thwarted by the lovely Scottish weather. I was grumping around in my pjs.
Ben came into my room and was upset, he asked in a little voice, "mummy, why cant you just be happy to spend your birthday with us, we dont want you to go out and dont like seeing you uspet" with big tears running down his cheeks! oh my aching heart! My sweet sensitive boy, how could I have been so stupid... there was no reason to be upset that my birthday was always on a rubbish day, that my plans were always cancelled. I had everything I needed right here and felt incredibly guilty for ever wishing to be away from them for just a short time. Yes, they are a handful and can drive me halfway to insanity somedays but only with typical little boy things, that actually are just normal and healthy (things that adults forget about as they grow up and become wound up at).
Little boys run around mad, they are always busy and always asking questions, they dont like tea rooms, boutiques or shopping and they get wound up and excited easily... but thats the magic of little boys... They are hard work but they reward you ten fold with their sensitive hearts and their innocent minds. My birthdays were never meant to be all about me (even though sometimes even mummies need this just a little) they weren't spoiled by the weather or cancelled plans, they have been enriched with childrens laughter and play and I wouldnt have it any other way.
Today I thought about unfulfilled my life used to be, about how much I had gained and learned from these amazing little creatures in the past 6 years, and how much happier I am, now that I have all that I have. I felt like all my birthdays had came at once. Some people are not so blessed and I needed to write this down so that I could read it the next time I feel' hard done by' or disappointed over something silly... There are worse things I could be feeling and worse things that could happen and I am so grateful that all I had to be upset over today was the weather... silly me...

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

the best news :)

I cant believe it has taken me so long to blog about our new arrival news! Tiredness and nausea took over for a while. at 11 weeks pregnant I am starting to feel a bit better and get back to life again :)
We decided to try for baby number 4, we were hoping to be pregnant by christmas, 2 weeks later I was sick.... and so it begins :) A new leg to our journey, a new experience and new member of our family :)

I cannot wait to do it all again. The early days, the tiny baby in a sling, the snuggly feeds in bed in our little bubble of bliss. Fraser grew out of this a while ago and now refuses to sleep in our bed so I am really missing my snuggly feeds and the new learning experience of another baby :) I learned so much when I had fraser, he has made me into the parent I am today, ben and jamie started me on my way, but I cannot wait to do all those things that i did with a tiny fraser that I wasnt confident enough to fully do with ben and jamie, like cloth bumming, co sleeping, tandem feeding and baby wearing. The excitement is too much! :) We have our 12 week scan on thursday, I am nervous. I always get nervous at scans. I worry about the baby and if its ok. I hold my breath until I see the heartbeat and hear her say "baby looks fine" I am excited at the same time though. its a milestone in pregnancy that I will have reached, one step closer to meeting this wonderful little bundle. We are hoping for a hypno home birth this time so I shall be looking for homebirth and hypnobirthing links if anyone has any good ones...

You know that calm the house falls into when a new baby is here? the blissful sighs as baby sleeps, the siblings staring at them with love and adoration, the smells of a new baby in the air, the feel of them sleeping against your chest and the soft fuzziness of their skin, that is what I am most looking forward to, the baby moon <3